Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
