i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I party with great urgency now.
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