When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I believe in your delicious
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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