So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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