This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
