I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize