you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
