all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
