i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
