Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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