RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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