Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
