Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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