return my video game
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
