I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize