drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
