Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
