Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's like iHOP with fire
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize