This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
