so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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