he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize