My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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