Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she told me i tasted like america
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
