He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
