i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize