Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
