just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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