Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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