He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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