Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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