4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize