5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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