Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
