Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
