Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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