yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
