I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
