Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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