It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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