3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
