i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
