I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
