It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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