I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
