My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
