Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
