he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
