It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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