Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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