im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
