it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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