Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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