I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can I color on your dick again?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize