why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
