i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
