I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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