I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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