is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
