Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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