So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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