Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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