it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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