Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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