The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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