At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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